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Wednesday, September 28, 2011


    There are still tears in my eyes and today I wonder why.. I am sensitive and I don’t know what makes me cry. It’s all emotional but the only enquiry I hold is why??
    I don’t have reasons. The best part of it lies in the source that brings this creation to the stage. The gap between the bodies I hold and me is still not clear. I may exhibit many emotions, but there’s something I am looking for which exists beyond the visible. What appears right to me may remain a conception, and the only beauty that exists lies in witnessing it.
    All this knowledge leaves a person with the honorable designation of an actor. We can also call ourselves liars, if that sounds better. The only practice that life offers me, is now wet with tears. I call it sorrow which is but laughable for others. When they cry it’s me who laughs. However I want to question the validity of the happenings. There’s still a gap that I witness which differentiates me from all the pain I experience.
    Life isn’t the truth!! This is what I feel. It isn’t even close to something like that. What we see in this world is nothing but our own selves. So, what are you making fun of??
    I am in love with these words which come through me. It helps me dissipate the energy that builds out of emotions. It is the sadness today and the anger tomorrow, but I still question…

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Recollecting the happenings in my life, let me write this beautiful story. One day I entered a room, which was filled with darkness that seemed unlimited in all its dimensions. Nothing was visible. I stayed and lived in the place where anger, frustration and tears had no meaning. There was no one to listen or speak to. With the dreadful darkness around me the only companions were the hopeless, weak thoughts.
Suddenly there was a feeling of hope taking roots from where I am, when I found a candle. It seemed as though the strength of my emotion touched the plane of the heavens, which brought help. Now, with the candle lighted I was reassured that the nature was helping me. For once I adored, respected and fell in love with the candle which showed me the world. I could now enjoy every bit of my existence as the room was filled with exquisitely beautiful things. There were no more thoughts but only pure happiness and joy that ruled my kingdom of life. The candle now appeared as God. It felt as though there was nothing more beautiful and lovely than this candle that I respect the most.
In this mesmerizing flow of events, there was one thing that I forgot. I forgot that the candle cannot last for long and its existence on this plane is temporary. When I became aware of this little truth, I understood that even my existence on this wondrous plane was temporary. And before the candle has left me, it is me who is leaving the candle. This walk into a new room may bring many more surprises and the candle remains a memory in this illusory story of existence.

22nd Oct 2009

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